Who is a 'Mother'? - A Dharmic Liberal Understanding

Who is a ‘Mother’? A mother is one who gives birth, nurtures, protects and one of the key people in shaping an individual for the life the child would lead ahead. One who fulfills either of these roles is revered as a mother. Is it gender specific? Not necessarily. In many cases, fathers are known to rise to the occasion to fill the role as well.

Yet, why is it that these roles are largely expected only of the women, many of today wonder. And the next question that would naturally arise is why shouldn’t the men be equally responsible for their children? Should they not take the responsibility of parenting? Why should the women be the only ones to sacrifice her personal interests for the benefit of the family? Why should men be applauded when he “helps” out at home? Is it not his duty too?

To understand this better, one must first comprehend what is ‘Dharma’. Dharma, simply put, is what governs morality, duty and harmony. It teaches us how to align our heart, mind and actions with the moral compass and adherence to duty beyond our personal interests. One of the founding principles of this school of thought is the understanding that looking for happiness from things outside of us is all but futile, since it is only temporary, while inner peace is what brings true happiness. When personal interests are kept to a minimum, one is free to work for the greater good. But if it is put on the forefront, it may lead to conflicts as it might be a hindrance to our larger goals or worse end up in conflict with another as it might trample upon their rights or duties.

Now what has this got to do with sacrifice? How can sacrifice bring happiness? With the right attitude and understanding it can. Sacrifice of one’s personal interests for the larger well-being is considered a virtue to be followed. Now here comes the conflict of thought. Why should I sacrifice my interests for the sake of another?

Consider a scenario where there are two brothers and there is one bar of chocolate. If either of them is selfish and wants the whole chocolate for himself, they are bound to get into a conflict and would in turn be bound by misery. If they choose to give, learn to feel joy on seeing the other happy, would their sacrifice ever bring them sorrow? (Take the example as is, without going into the ‘what if’s, for they will be plenty and that is besides the point.) The act of giving is considered a virtue and is Dharma. When I say ‘act of giving’, it is not merely an act. It should be done with the intent of wishing well upon the receiver and thus deriving joy from it. Sacrifice for love, and extend that love and compassion to all.

It can be quite easily noted that a mother’s love for her children knows no bounds. You see any living being, in most cases it is the mother that is the first to respond to her children’s cry, and human-beings are no exception. Giving one’s life for the sake of another is the most selfless deed one can offer — and mothers serve a true example to that. That is why a mother is hailed as an epitome of sacrifice, that comes more naturally to her, to be looked up to and not force it upon only her while the men go about making merry but rather learn from her and work towards imbibing that quality in them as well. And when men do their bit, they have chosen to grow into better people, into better fathers, to show their sons by leading them through example by learning from mothers.

How is it liberal? Guidelines for Dharma have been drawn keeping both individual and societal requirements in mind. When you follow it with a true understanding, you feel that any sacrifice will be worth it. In fact, you will realise that it is not a sacrifice, but rather a duty. Know this, that the choices are there in front of you to choose from, but be prepared for the consequences of your actions. There is no escaping that. One can choose between their personal interests, their duty — although they might not like it, or their duty with an understanding of Dharma. The first choice will give temporary happiness, although it cannot be guaranteed. The second choice will maintain the social balance, yet not give happiness to the doer. And the third choice will give that happiness to the doer which will make one content. Dharma is liberal because it teaches the law of nature, it teaches the cause and the results that they give rise to and yet, the choice still remains with the individual.

We are taught to respect and bow down to not only the woman who has given birth to us, but also to all the women whom we come across in our lives, and respect them with the divine sight of motherhood. One is to also respect one’s wife upon that pedestal because she is the mother of your children, whom you have to groom to be Dharmic individuals by walking the path of Dharma yourself. With such profound thoughts planted (and followed), where can there be bad intentions? If misdeeds prevail, it only means that the teachings aren’t being followed.

Mother, she is the first teacher, the one who loves you the most and the one who is an epitome of sacrifice. She is the divine mother in the physical form, one whom we must bow down to and seek blessings from everyday, for we should be grateful. There lies the beauty of ‘Sanata Dharma’, the culture ingrained into the land of ‘Bharath’.